Wow. It's been almost 8 weeks...EIGHT WEEKS...since my little guy was born. The time has flown mostly sort of because we've been having fun and partially mostly because sleep deprivation tends to distort one's perception of things.
But yeah. Eight weeks have come and gone. We are settling into our new normal, and the fog seems to have lifted for the most part. Finn is sleeping around 8pm -12am, waking up to nurse and then sleeping again from 12:30am-4am these days, so there are some decent stretches of sleep sewing time in the evening/night hours.
In other words, we're surviving.
I've also been experiencing lots of feelings about my body and newfound identify as a mother (even though I've been one for over four years), and it's become super important to me to document this journey. My hope is that through posting these photos, I can not only accept and embrace the changes myself but also potentially help shed some light on this often hidden phase of maternal transformation.
It seems to me that women kind of disappear after having children. I see lots of 40-something mothers of older kids (tweens and teens) looking fabulous, sewing constantly for themselves and enjoying life, but it's the moms in the trenches (with babies, toddlers and preschoolers) who seem mostly happy to hide behind the camera lenses while sewing for their kids and staying comfortable in their elastic waist pants and maternity tops. (Of course, I'm generalizing, but you know what I mean.)
That's not to say these women/we aren't happy. True, we're exhausted. We're a bit self-conscious about our changed bodies. We're maybe even feeling a bit aimless and lost. But we are mostly enjoying life and watching our babies become real people. You know what they say - the days are long, but the years are short. Those words fell mostly on deaf ears when I was a first-time mom, but I've become painfully aware of their truth as a new mother of three.
So here I am, unedited and mostly make-up-free. My hope is that by sharing these photos, I can help another mother who is feeling frumpy and invisible to realize she's not alone (and that she's beautiful and perfect as she is). And I'm also hoping these photos will motivate me to get into my best shape so I can enjoy my family for many healthy years to come (and not just to get skinny because society tells me to). And finally, I want to change the conversation I have with myself (both internally and externally) about my appearance so I'm better able to demonstrate a positive body image to my daughter (and sons!).
Without further ado...
First, a shot of me five years ago when I was five weeks pregnant with my first baby (34"-27"-37" and 115 lbs.) compared to full-term with my third:
And here, various views of my full-term body with baby #3 (I would continue to be pregnant for more than two weeks after these were shot):
Then a couple days after giving birth to my third (I actually think I look quite beautiful and happy, despite having no sleep and wearing an adult diaper):
And at four weeks postpartum and sporting a new haircut and color (that was done well and was no fault of the stylist but that I totally regret!):
As I write this, I'm down to about 143 lbs. (my "goal" is 120-125 although I don't mind being heavier than that if I significantly increase my muscle tone). It's so crazy to think that in less than two months, I've lost 30 pounds. But that's what time and breastfeeding (and chasing after three babies!) does. At four weeks postpartum, I started the Bikini Body Guide, but I will post more about that later. Suffice it to say that I'm getting my ass kicked on a semi-daily basis.
I'm getting back into the habit of posting about sewing and creating my handmade wardrobe, but I'll also be occasionally posting about my body transformation. I hesitate to call it "progress" because I think my body is perfect as it is right now for where I am at this phase in my life. But I do hope things will change - mostly so I feel my best can fit into my handmade clothes again. ;)
Kidding, kidding. But really. You guys get it.
xoxo
